Healing Through Relationship: Navigating the Sanctuary of Refuge vs. Relational Healing

Some people envision their romantic relationships as a safe haven, a space devoid of conflict, where they can find solace, nurture, unconditional love, joy, and companionship. On the other hand, there are those who view relationships as a competitive arena, aiming for purification, liberation from past traumas, or spiritual enlightenment. They might even glorify the trials of intimacy as a path to spiritual growth, even if it means sacrificing the ease of enjoying each other's company.

The Balance of Sanctuary and Transformation

Healthy relationships offer a blend of both attributes – a secure refuge and a transformative crucible for growth. But what happens when one partner seeks refuge while the other is eager for relational healing?

In my marriage to my daughter's father, I was driven to evolve, learn, and use our relationship as a catalyst for personal and spiritual development. Despite my efforts, he was reluctant to engage in couple's therapy, relationship workshops, or reading materials on relationships. His aversion to conflict and emotional intensity created a dilemma for us, ultimately leading to our divorce. Interestingly, this separation became the catalyst for his own healing journey.

The Challenge of Mismatched Readiness

It's not uncommon for one partner to be emotionally prepared for deep relational healing while the other is not. This discord can result in a stalemate, with one person shouldering the emotional labor. Karen Drucker's song, “Gentle With Myself,” encapsulates the idea that progress in healing should align with the pace of our most vulnerable aspects.

Healing With Your “Imago”

Harville Hendrix introduces the concept of the “imago,” representing an internalized image of our primary caregivers that influences our partner selection. This imago often mirrors the positive and negative traits of our caregivers, along with suppressed aspects of ourselves. While initially attractive, these dynamics can lead to conflict when unmet needs arise.

Revealing Core Wounds in Relationships

Partners in a relationship may undergo individual therapy, but true transformation occurs when they address relational trauma together. However, coercing a partner into healing before they're ready is counterproductive. Unresolved trauma can trigger protective mechanisms that hinder emotional vulnerability and growth.

Embracing Healing Through Relationship

Join us for the “Healing Through Relationship” workshop, where we'll explore intimacy as a transformative or spiritual journey. Whether with a romantic partner, friend, family, or community, delve into provocative questions on balancing vulnerability, setting boundaries, and attracting healthier relationships. Discover how to navigate relational challenges and foster growth in a supportive environment.

If you're interested in embarking on this journey with us, register for the workshop and be part of a transformative experience. We look forward to exploring these complex dynamics with you.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is the difference between holistic and alternative medicine?

Holistic medicine treats the whole person: body, mind, spirit, and soul. Holistic medicine considers all aspects of a person's health. This includes the spiritual, psychological, and environmental factors that are often overlooked in conventional medicine. Alternative medicine addresses specific conditions, such as asthma, allergies, arthritis, and other ailments.

What is a holistic doctor?

A holistic medicine doctor treats patients holistically. They may use traditional methods such as herbs and acupuncture but integrate these into western medicine.

They seek to treat an illness and not just symptoms. After treatment, the patient should feel better.

Doctors must not only treat the illness but also look out for ways to prevent it from returning.

The term “holistic” means considering all aspects of a person's life.

What does it mean to use complementary medicine?

Complementary Medicine can be described as any treatment that is complementary to mainstream medicine. This covers treatments like acupuncture, aromatherapy and chiropractic care, homeopathy or hypnosis as well massage therapy, naturopathy, reflexology and traditional Chinese medicine.

Complementary medications are not to be used as an alternative to conventional medicine. These complementary medicines are also known as “alternative”, “integrative”, or “integrative” medicine. They combine Western scientific methods and other proven therapies to heal people.

Why is holistic medicine better?

Holistic health care focuses on treating the whole person rather than on individual symptoms. Holistic healthcare focuses on the whole person, not just individual symptoms. This includes how they feel, what they eat and where they live.

Holistic medicine takes into account all aspects of a patient’s life and treats them like a whole package. While it sounds simple, it can be very challenging to implement in practice because doctors often focus on the patient's physical health.

Alternative medicine is important.

Alternative medicine is very popular, as they are often less expensive and more beneficial than traditional treatments. However, there have been many cases where patients have died after taking these treatments, sometimes due to side effects such as allergic reactions. Other therapies might not work.

In addition, alternative medicines can be dangerous if you don't know enough about them to choose the right ones. Vitamin supplements aren’t controlled as pharmaceuticals so it is easy to get too high on vitamins. Other remedies, however, can be toxic.

What are the 5 Alternative medical systems?

The five alternative medicine systems include acupuncture, Ayurveda, homeopathy, energy healing, and aromatherapy.

Acupuncture uses fine needles inserted into specific points on the body to stimulate the flow of qi (energy) throughout the entire body.

Ayurvedic medicines is an ancient system to balance the three senses of air, fire,, and water. It involves diet, exercise, herbal remedies, massage, and meditation.

Homeopathic Medicine derives its name from the Greek homoios which means similarity and pathos which denotes disease. Homeopaths believe every disease has natural causes. But not all symptoms. They use minute amounts of substances to treat their patients. These symptoms are very similar to what the patient experiences when they are sick.

Energy Healing is also known by EFT, Rolfing (emotional touch), Reiki, Rolfing, Rolfing, Rolfing, Therapeutic Touch and many other names. This therapy is based on a belief that we are all connected to the universal life force known as Ki. If this Ki flows freely though us, it makes us feel well. Energy healers use touch and intention to help restore balance and harmony between our physical, emotional, mental and spiritual selves.

Aromatherapy uses essential herbs extracted from plants to provide therapeutic benefits. Aromatherapists believe that certain smells can affect mood and behavior. Lavender is one of the most used essential oils in aromatherapy.

Is holistic medicine legitimate?

Both yes and no. Yes. Many medicines have been shown to be effective against different ailments. They can't treat all conditions. It depends on what you mean by “holistic.” If it means taking into account all aspects of an individual's health, then yes, but if it just means using natural remedies over chemical ones then no.

Some believe that holistic medicine is a newer form of medicine. But this is simply untrue. Although there were some natural remedies used by healers in ancient Egypt or Rome, these practitioners did not have scientific knowledge.

It was not until the Middle Ages when medical practitioners began to study anatomy & physiology. This led directly to the development surgery, obstetrics, pharmacology, and a host of other medical specialties. By the 19th century, most Western countries had developed public hospitals where trained doctors could provide medical care.

Today, traditional medicine is the predominant form of healthcare. Many people still prefer to utilize complementary and alternate medicine. Many find that it works better for them than pharmaceutical drugs.

For example, some people feel more relaxed after receiving massage therapy rather than taking tranquilizers. Others enjoy eating healthy foods instead of taking prescription medications. Others still believe that regular exercise improves their bodies' performance.

Statistics

In 83% of the cases, the readers agreed. (en.wikipedia.org)
A 15-year systematic review published in 2022 on the global acceptance and use of CAM among medical specialists found the overall acceptance of CAM at 52% and the overall use at 45%. (en.wikipedia.org)
According to a 2005 book by a US [116]Institute of Medicine panel, the number of RCTs focused on CAM has risen dramatically. (en.wikipedia.org)
The concept of regression toward the mean implies that an extreme result is more likely to be followed by a less extreme result. (en.wikipedia.org)
In the 17% in which they disagreed, a third reader agreed with one of the initial readers to set a rating. (en.wikipedia.org)

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How To

What are the main 4 categories of complementary and/or alternative medicine?

The four main categories of CAM are mind-body medicine, natural products, manipulative therapies, and energy healing. Mind-body medicine includes yoga, meditation, Tai Chi, Reiki, acupuncture, massage therapy, chiropractic care, homeopathy, aromatherapy, reflexology, naturopathy, biofeedback, hypnosis, and herbalism. Natural products include herbs, vitamins, minerals, dietary supplements, and botanicals. Manipulative therapies can include physical manipulations such as acupuncture, chiropractic care, and osteopathic/chiropractic care. Prayer and visualization are some of the techniques used for energy healing.

CAM can be used to describe a range of alternative health practices, which are not part of the traditional Western medical model. These practices can be supported by scientific evidence, or they may involve surgery. They also vary in terms of the conditions they treat. Some CAM practitioners can also do diagnostic testing (e.g., blood test) and prescribe medication. Others do both.

Each category has many subcategories in addition to the four main categories. Mind-body medicine includes relaxation techniques, mindfulness training and guided imagery. It also includes self-hypnosis, meditation, qigong and Tai chi. Natural products can include nutritional supplements and botanical medicines, homeopathic remedies as well as essential oils, botanical medicines, essential oils, nutraceuticals herbal preparations, medicinal herbs, and teas. Manipulative therapies can include manual, movement and traction as well as electrotherapies, cupping and stretching. Soft tissue mobilization, trigger point therapy (or orthopedics), myofascial releases, trigger points therapy, neurostimulation, and trigger point therapy are some examples. There are also spiritual healing methods such as prayer, faith healing, and energy healing.

Many CAM therapies treat symptoms, but not the cause. However, CAM may provide relief for some chronic diseases. If used properly, CAM can be combined with conventional treatments.

There are many reasons why people use CAM:

To improve their overall well-being.
To manage a special condition.
To reduce pain or discomfort.
To prevent illness.
To promote wellness.
To address a person's belief system.

Some people use CAM to have more control over their own health than traditional medicine. They might believe there are fewer side-effects. Others choose CAM to avoid taking prescription medications. Still, others prefer not to take pharmaceuticals if possible. Many people also seek out CAM because of bad experiences with traditional medicine.

Some people who use CAM feel that they need to be certain about their work before trying new things. Many CAM users are concerned about the safety and effectiveness. Others rely upon word-of-mouth referrals from family and friends.

Although CAM is often viewed negatively by society, most users report positive feelings toward CAM. People who use CAM are generally happier and healthier than people who don't. This is true regardless age, gender and race.

The majority of Americans use some form of complementary and alternative medicine. 95% or more of adult Americans have used some type of CAM in their lives. According to the National Center for Complementary and Integrative Health – NCCIH, approximately 40,000,000 visits were made to CAM providers alone in 2010.

According to the NCCIH estimate, 10% of the U.S. Population uses chiropractors.

2013 was a year that the American Medical Association (AMA) reaffirmed its support of integrative medicine. It recognized that physicians should “integrate scientifically valid complementary and alternative medicine into clinical practice…to meet patients ‘ needs and expectations.”5

The Institute of Medicine published a landmark document in 2007 called “Relaxing Contraints: Improving Access To Complementary and Alternative Healthcare.” This report stated that there is no evidence that any specific CAM intervention is capable of curing, preventing, or treating cancer.

CAM continues growing in popularity despite these findings. The number of CAM practitioners grew by 8 percent in 2008 compared to 2007.

A recent study revealed that almost half of respondents use CAM as partof their primary healthcare regime.

CAM therapies may include natural products and mind-body practices as well as manipulative techniques, energy healing, modalities, exercise, and dietary supplements.

Many CAM treatments are used primarily for pain relief. However, they can also be used to improve mood, sleep quality, stress reduction, and immunity.

Acupuncture can be used to relieve back pain, anxiety, depression, increase immune function, promote weight loss, and improve menstrual symptoms.

Many CAM treatments are rooted in traditional Chinese and Ayurvedic medicine. Their roots date back thousands of years.

Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM), for example, was developed 5,000 years ago. It has been used in China since ancient times.

It was not until the mid-1800s when Western science began to gain prominence, but TCM remains an important element of health care today.

Today, it's estimated that more than 70 percent of people in the United States rely on TCM for treatment.

Yoga is another popular CAM treatment. Yoga originated in India around 5000 B.C. It is now accepted all over the world.

Yoga is becoming more popular because it has many positive effects on the body, mind, and spirit.

Yoga can be used to reduce stress, improve flexibility, increase strength and help with blood pressure.

Yoga has been shown to improve sleep33, even though there is not much scientific evidence. It may also be beneficial for insomnia sufferers.

Other CAM therapies like aromatherapy, homeopathy, meditation, and/or homeopathy are also becoming accepted in mainstream medicine.

One of the most common types of CAM used today is herbal medicine.

Herbal medicines include herbs, spices and flowers, seeds, fruits and mushrooms, bark, leaves roots, stems, and bark.

They are commonly used as safer alternatives to prescription drugs and are often preferred by consumers.

The U.S. National Center for Complementary and Integrative Health estimates that about 90 million Americans use some form of complementary/alternative medicine.

According to American Cancer Society, 45% adults diagnosed with cancer reported that they used alternative medicine during treatment.

The National Institutes of Health estimates that 60% of patients with cancer use CAM, and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reports that about 50% of all cancer survivors report using CAM.

According to a recent study, 51% cancer survivors have used at the very least one type of CAM.

However, only 8.8% of them discussed it with their physicians.

This gap in healthcare delivery is caused by a lack of communication between conventional doctors and CAM users.

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