The Ethical, Kind Way To Test If Someone Is Trustworthy

Relational trauma sufferers often have trust issues. This can make it difficult to be open with someone new in your life. When it comes to trusting others, people with trauma often have a difficult time deciding who to trust. They may be paranoid and distrust anyone, regardless of how trustworthy they are, or they might be naive and overly trust dangerous, predatory and ruthless, exploitative, and unsafe people.

Trusting untrustworthy people can lead to distrust in trustworthy people. This creates a vicious circle that cements their distrust over the long-term. The untrustworthy people in which they place their trust end up betraying them. They also push away all trustworthy people they meet due to their constant testing. This can lead to a frustrating catch-22 that can be very confusing and even dangerous for some people.

It is crucial to learn how to discern whether someone is trustworthy. Many people don’t know how ethically to test someone’s trustworthiness. They test people in painful, even cruel, ways that can lead to disappointment (and reinforce their distrust). Instead of giving someone a clear path to pass, and then having a reasonable period within which to discern, you can relax into a safe, trusting relationship.

It is appropriate to test people to determine if they are trustworthy. However, there are healthy and unhealthy ways to do so.

Unhealthy Methods to Test for Trustworthiness

Let’s start with the unhealthy ones. You can choose to be passive aggressive.

Do not behave badly
Repeatedly cross someone’s borders
Tell the truth
Get mad and throw a fit when you don’t get your way
Push someone away
Tell someone you are sorry if they don’t mean it.
Tell the person you don’t know what they want to see how they respond
The mind-game “Come Close, then Go Away”
Create a test and not let anyone know your expectations
Don’t communicate expectations or standards that are vague to make someone successful
Don’t communicate your wants and needs and expect someone else to understand
Have unrealistic expectations of perfection or sainthood and then ridicule the other person when they are human
Sabotage true intimacy in all ways

You can then wait to see if the other party lets you go without protesting or leaves. They pass if they don’t protest too much and don’t leave, regardless of how difficult you may be.

This is not healthy. This is not testing. That’s torture. It’s unfair and unkind to the other person. Someone who passes these kinds of tests is likely to be mixed with martyr, codependent, spiritual bypassing, conflict avoidant, and other parts that can tolerate abuse without protesting or walking away. This is a recipe for unhealthy dynamics.

Healthy Methods to Test for Trustworthiness

There’s a healthy method to determine if someone is trustworthy.

Set clear boundaries and ask the other person to respect them
Say no when you mean it, and then see how someone reacts to you when they don’t get what you want
You can track whether someone says yes or no and whether they act quickly
Together, you negotiate agreements and determine if the other person can uphold mutually negotiated agreements in an mature manner
Pay attention to how transparent someone is about their motives. Trustworthy people will not be influenced by someone’s agenda or try to transact with them. They will name their motives and accept your no if they don’t want to. If you aren’t trustworthy, they will probably get angry and try to make you feel guilty.
You should confront someone who lies to you to find out why.
Pay attention to whether someone respects time limits or leaves you waiting
It is important to notice how they speak to you and what they think about you. Do they love or hurt you, lift you up or degrade you?
It is important to observe how people treat others. Are they kind to everyone or are they selfish and treat others as inferior?
Google them to verify their claims. Is there a website for the company that proves they are a CEO of a company? Are there any public records of criminal convictions, fraud, lawsuits or scandals? Are they willing to provide references that you can verify? You shouldn’t be paranoid about doing your research when meeting someone new, especially if they make a lot grandiose claims.
Notice how they speak about ex-lovers, ex friends, and ex-business partners. You can be certain that you will be the next victim in any story they tell about you.

It’s a good idea to give someone the opportunity to succeed, even though it is wise to test them for a while. Instead of testing someone indefinitely without gaining your trust, it’s better to learn what it takes to establish whether they are trustworthy enough to meet your standards and stop testing beyond that. You won’t be able to change your mind about someone if they make a mistake. If you refuse to let anyone feel trusted by you, it’s a loss. Trustworthy, secure attached people can be a great gift for people who have trust issues.

Think about the people in your circle of influence. Who do you trust? Are you still unsure about who? How do you determine if new people are worthy of your trust?

The first Lissa Rankin post was The Ethical and Kind Way to Test If Someone is Trustworthy.

Frequently Asked Questions

What are the 5 domains in integrative medicine?

Integrative medicine encompasses five domains: mind-body; nutrition; social determinants; lifestyle and prevention. These five areas cover all aspects of health care including spiritual, physical, and environmental well being.

Integrative medicine offers a comprehensive approach for addressing your overall health, well-being, and treatment of diseases. It includes both conventional medical treatment and complementary therapies such acupuncture.

What is the alternative to holistic medicine?

Holistic medicine refers to a holistic approach to health care. It considers all aspects and their emotional, spiritual, and environmental dimensions. Holistic medicine is based upon the belief that all illnesses must have multiple causes. Therefore, it requires a combination treatment to maximize effectiveness.

Holistic medicine practitioners believe prevention is better that cure. They work closely with their patients to help them achieve optimal wellness.

They look for the root causes of disease to prevent them from returning. Holistic physicians consider the entire body and not merely the physical organs. They commonly refer to the entire person as “the body”.

This means they see beyond the skin and treat your body holistically. The doctor may recommend changes in diet, exercise, or lifestyle. He may also recommend meditation or yoga exercises, herbal supplementation, massage or chiropractic treatment, as well as acupuncture and other forms of alternative medicine.

What is Alternative Medicine and How Does It Work?

This is a holistic approach to healing that emphasizes prevention over treatment. It encourages people to be informed consumers and actively participate in improving their health.

Alternative medicine refers generally to any form of diagnosis or treatment that does away with allopathic (conventional), medical approaches.

What are the advantages of holistic medicine over traditional medicine?

Holistic medicine has been used by many religions and cultures for thousands years. They were based upon ancient knowledge and experienced.

These medications are safe, affordable, effective, natural, as well as cost-effective. Side effects are less common than with prescription drugs.

They can help you attain better health, and overall wellness.

They can prevent disease and promote your overall well-being.

They could even be used to treat heart disease, cancer, diabetes, arthritis, asthma and depression.

There are hundreds of traditional medicines in the world. Each has its own benefits.

The World Health Organization estimates that 80% of the population relies on traditional methods to treat illness or injury.

According to some reports, about half a million people depend on traditional herbal remedies for their primary healthcare.

The global market for complementary therapies is estimated to reach $22.2 billion by 2020.

People are increasingly looking for alternative medical options to avoid any side effects that may be associated with traditional treatments.

When other treatments fail, many people resort to complementary therapies. They may also try them before resorting to surgery or medication.

There are many reasons people choose complementary therapies.

To improve your quality of life
To reduce stress levels
For relaxation
To relieve pain
To enhance immunity
For support in coping with serious illnesses
To boost energy
To control weight
To maintain good nutrition
To improve sleep patterns
To deal with chronic diseases

Is holistic medicine safe?

Holistic Medicine may not be as dangerous as you might think. However, there are many risks involved in using this treatment. Side effects include nausea, headaches, dizziness. drowsiness. diarrhea. constipation. These risks must be understood by patients and balanced against the benefits of alternative treatments, such as acupuncture.

There are no cases of death from holistic medicine.

Always consult your doctor before beginning any new treatment plan.

What are some examples of alternative medicine?

Alternative medicine refers only to alternative treatments that are not considered to be effective in treating diseases. These include traditional Chinese medicine, homeopathy, chiropractic, acupuncture, herbal medicines, nutritional therapy, and energy healing techniques such as reiki.

Alternative medicine may also refer not to scientific evidence but that have been successfully used in clinical practice. These include yoga, meditation, aromatherapy, reflexology and flower essences.

Statistics

An assessment of conventional treatments found that 41.3% concluded positive or possibly positive effects, 20% concluded no effect, 8.1% concluded net harmful effects, and 21.3% concluded insufficient evidence. (en.wikipedia.org)
A 15-year systematic review published in 2022 on the global acceptance and use of CAM among medical specialists found the overall acceptance of CAM at 52% and the overall use at 45%. (en.wikipedia.org)
According to a 2005 book by a US [116]Institute of Medicine panel, the number of RCTs focused on CAM has risen dramatically. (en.wikipedia.org)
The concept of regression toward the mean implies that an extreme result is more likely to be followed by a less extreme result. (en.wikipedia.org)
The use of alternative medicine in the US has increased, with a 50 percent increase in expenditures and a 25 percent increase in the use of alternative therapies between 1990 and 1997 in America. (en.wikipedia.org)

External Links

How To

What should I look for when looking for a qualified holistic doctor

How to find a doctor who practices holistic medicine?

Only those who are experts in their field can be the best doctors. This is holistic medicine. Doctors must be able to treat patients holistically. This includes treating the whole person and not just the symptoms. A holistic doctor should have a deep understanding of holistic health.

Doctors should not only be knowledgeable about holistic health but also have an understanding of alternative and complementary therapies (CAM), such acupuncture and chiropractic care as well as yoga and massage therapy.

Holistic practitioners should also be capable of diagnosing your condition and explaining the available treatments to you so that you can make an informed decision about your treatment options.

You should also inquire if the doctor is certified through professional organizations like The National Certification Board for Therapeutic Massage & Bodywork, or the American Holistic Medical Association. The NBOHMCA provides certification in many areas, including naturopathic medicine, acupuncture, homeopathy, clinical nutrition, herbalism, and aromatherapy.

Look through our directory to find a holistic doctor in your region. If there isn’t one, you may be capable of searching online for a holistic practitioner near you.

To confirm if holistic healthcare is offered, contact your local hospital.

You can also visit your local library for books and resources on holistic health.

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If you or another person is suffering from a medical issue and you are concerned, consult your doctor or seek out other medical professional treatment as soon as possible. Do not disregard medical advice from a professional or delay seeking it due to information you seen on the blog or website or in any of the linked materials. If you’re experiencing an emergency medical situation, dial 911 or seek emergency medical assistance on the closest phone immediately.

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By: Karoline
Title: The Ethical, Kind Way To Test If Someone Is Trustworthy
Sourced From: lissarankin.com/the-ethical-kind-way-to-test-if-someone-is-trustworthy/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=the-ethical-kind-way-to-test-if-someone-is-trustworthy
Published Date: Thu, 09 Feb 2023 17:14:11 +0000