When it comes to relationships, many of us either fantasize about being rescued or identify with being the rescuer. Traditionally, in movies and literature, the rescuer is often portrayed as a heroic figure saving the damsel-in-distress. However, with the changing dynamics in society, especially with women gaining power and LGBTQIA+ relationships becoming more prevalent, the roles of the rescuer and the rescued have become more fluid.
Personal Experiences
During an online dating experiment, I encountered men who either exhibited paternalistic behavior, seeking a trophy partner to rescue, or were individuals in vulnerable situations seeking stability and financial support. However, I was looking for an equal partner interested in sharing power, someone already accomplished in their career and capable of handling adult responsibilities.
In my quest for an equal partner, I eventually found someone through a long-standing friendship. Despite both of us having tendencies to play out the rescuer role, we are conscious of this dynamic and engage in open discussions about it.
The Rescuer/Rescued Dynamic
A community member reached out to me, sharing her experience of being in a relationship where she felt like the rescued individual. She highlighted how the power dynamics in the relationship had become unhealthy, with her partner playing the rescuer role while she felt powerless.
As she reflected on her relationship, she realized that both she and her partner were reenacting familiar dynamics from their past. She acknowledged her struggles with setting boundaries, fearing abandonment, and losing herself in the process of trying to please her partner.
Power & Rescuing
Exploring the concept of power dynamics in relationships, it becomes evident that childhood experiences often shape our preferences for either the rescuer or the rescued role. The rescuer typically assumes a position of power, while the rescued feels disempowered.
Healthy relationships thrive when both partners are on an equal footing, avoiding extremes of power dynamics. Understanding how childhood trauma influences these dynamics is crucial in fostering emotional well-being in relationships.
Rachel Naomi Remen, MD, emphasizes the difference between rescuing and serving in relationships. While rescuing can lead to burnout and imbalance, serving from a place of wholeness and connection strengthens both individuals involved.
Embracing Self-Rescue
Empowering oneself to become the fantasy rescuer of our inner wounded parts can shift the dynamics in relationships. Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy encourages individuals to rescue themselves, fostering a sense of autonomy and shared power in relationships.
While it's natural to seek support and validation from partners during challenging times, it's essential to maintain a balance of giving and receiving in relationships. Being aware of power dynamics and communicating openly can lead to healthier and more fulfilling connections.
Ultimately, by embracing self-rescue and fostering a sense of wholeness within, individuals can navigate relationships with less dependency on external rescuers and cultivate a more balanced dynamic based on mutual service and empowerment.
Join us in exploring the complexities of the rescuer/rescued dynamic in our LOVE SCHOOL community for deeper insights and discussions.
May we all strive to be the heroes and heroines of our inner worlds, fostering relationships built on mutual respect and empowerment.
For more engaging content and discussions, visit Lissa Rankin's blog.
Frequently Asked Questions
What does holistic mean to you?
Holistic is a holistic approach. It means looking at the whole picture rather than just part of it. This isn't always possible because we tend not to see things as a whole.
We often think of grey as black and white. There are many shades and shades of grey.
You should always see the project from many angles when working on it. You should look at it from all sides.
You should try to see it all as one. How does each of its components interact with one another?
You should also ask yourself why the problem is occurring. Make sure to take into account the impact of every change you make.
What are the benefits to complementary and alternative medicine?
Complementary or alternative medicine (CAM), is a general term that covers medical practices that people use when they feel they don't get enough from allopathic medicines. These include herbal medicines, mind and body therapies like acupuncture, massage, homeopathy or traditional Chinese medicine. Because they are not part of the standard medical treatment system, CAM practitioners will often recommend alternative therapies. Many CAM therapies include elements of conventional medicine. Some forms of acupuncture use needles while others use acupressure and moxibustion with heat.
Some CAM therapies can help with anxiety, stress management, pain relief, relaxation, sleep disorders, insomnia, and stress management. They may improve your general well-being as well as reduce fatigue. Some CAM therapies address specific conditions like fibromyalgia or chronic fatigue syndrome, irritable bowel disease, rheumatoid arthritis, cancer, and diabetes. Other CAM therapies may simply be enjoyable experiences.
Although there is no one definition of CAM, most definitions include at minimum one of these:
- A holistic perspective which considers both body and mind, as well the environment.
- The belief that the mind, body and soul interact and influence one another
- The belief that illness can be caused by an imbalance in the environment or between the individual and his/her environment
- It is important to treat the whole person, not just the symptoms.
- Combination of Eastern philosophy and Western science
- The best treatment methods integrate mind, spirit, and body
- Use of natural products rather than synthetic chemicals
- The healing touch
- Mindfulness
- Meditation
- Acupuncture
- Yoga
- Herbal remedies
- Homeopathy
- Chiropractic care
- Massage therapy
- Hypnotherapy
- Spiritual healing
- Biofeedback
- Nutritional counseling
- Energy healing
In addition to its potential benefits, there are risks associated with certain CAM therapies. If used incorrectly, some therapies can cause severe harm or even death. Some have side effects, which should be balanced against their perceived benefits. Discuss these concerns with your doctor before you decide to use any CAM.
What is Alternative Medicine?
This approach to healing focuses on prevention and not treatment. It encourages people be educated consumers, actively participating in their own health and well being.
Alternative medicine refers to any system of diagnosis and treatment that does not employ allopathic (conventional) medical practices.
Is holistic health care the same as alternative medicine?
Holistic Health Care distinguishes itself from Alternative Medicine because Holistic Health Care focuses on the whole person instead of just treating symptoms.
Holistic Health Care addresses all aspects of an individual’s life: mental, physical, psychological, spiritual, occupational, cultural and family.
Alternative Medicine does nothing to address these issues. It doesn't address these issues.
Can a holistic practitioner write prescriptions?
Holistic medicine relies on the idea that all diseases are caused in part by a combination – diet, lifestyle and environment. Stress, anxiety, genetics and any other health-related factors.
This is a comprehensive approach to treating patients.
To fully grasp the effect of each factor on a patient, a physician must have a good understanding of both modern science as well traditional methods such a homeopathy or herbs.
Many doctors have become certified in complementary and alternative medicine (C&A). This allows them to offer a full range of services to their patients.
What is the difference between holistic and alternative medicine?
Holistic medicine treats the whole person: body, mind, spirit, and soul. It looks at all aspects of an individual's health, including physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, and environmental factors often overlooked by conventional medicine. Alternative medicine addresses specific conditions, such as asthma, allergies, arthritis, and other ailments.
Complementary and Alternative Healthcare – Are they Evidence-based?
While the evidence base in complementary and alternative medicine remains incomplete, there are many good reasons to choose them. They may have tried conventional treatments but found them ineffective, or they may want to try an alternative therapy because they believe it offers benefits over conventional care. Alternative and complementary medicine may be an option. This is part of a holistic approach. Always check with your doctor to ensure that any complementary and/or alternative medicines you take are supported scientifically. If you're unsure whether a particular treatment is effective, ask your doctor or pharmacist. It can save you both time and money.
Statistics
- According to the World Health Organization, 80% of people use herbal medicine worldwide. (webmd.com)
- The use of alternative medicine in the US has increased, with a 50 percent increase in expenditures and a 25 percent increase in the use of alternative therapies between 1990 and 1997 in America. (en.wikipedia.org)
- In 83% of the cases, the readers agreed. (en.wikipedia.org)
- The concept of regression toward the mean implies that an extreme result is more likely to be followed by a less extreme result. (en.wikipedia.org)
- According to a 2005 book by a US [116]Institute of Medicine panel, the number of RCTs focused on CAM has risen dramatically. (en.wikipedia.org)
External Links
webmd.com
cam.cancer.gov
nccih.nih.gov
ncbi.nlm.nih.gov
- BIOFEEDBACK TRAINING, TENSION-TYPEHEADACHE – PubMed
- PubMed: A Randomized Controlled Trial to Determine the Effects of Foot Reflexology on Depression and Hospital Anxiety in Older Females: A Randomized Controlled Study – PubMed
How To
What can a holistic doctor do differently than a traditional doctor?
A holistic doctor provides a wider range of services than a traditional doctor, including a nutritionist, massage therapist, acupuncturist, homeopath, naturopath, etc.
Holistic doctors work with patients holistically. They look at each person's lifestyle and environment, and treat the root causes of any health problems, rather than treating the symptoms. This helps them to identify the root cause of any health issues and help with long-term wellness. Holistic doctors employ natural remedies, such as essential oils and herbs, to treat illness. They also provide nutritional supplements and advice for healthy living.
Additionally, holistic doctors offer treatments such as reflexology, massage, shiatsu and acupuncture.
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This blog is a source of general information and discussion on health and related topics. Information and materials on this blog, on the website, or in any of the connected materials are not intended to replace or used as a substitute for the advice of a medical professional, diagnosis, or treatment. This blog does not represent the application of any nursing, medical or other health professional advice or diagnosis. We are unable to diagnose health conditions, offer second opinions or provide specific treatment recommendations via this blog or on our website.
If you or another person is suffering from a medical issue and you are concerned, consult your doctor or seek out other medical professional treatment as soon as possible. Do not disregard medical advice from a professional or delay seeking it due to information you seen on the blog or website or in any of the linked materials. If you're experiencing an emergency medical situation, dial 911 or seek emergency medical assistance on the closest phone immediately.
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By: Nicolay Kreidler
Title: Understanding the Rescuer/Rescued Dynamic in Relationships
Sourced From: lissarankin.com/do-you-rescue-or-prefer-to-be-rescued/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=do-you-rescue-or-prefer-to-be-rescued
Published Date: Fri, 21 Feb 2025 21:18:11 +0000
Frequently Asked Questions
What does holistic mean to you?
Holistic is a holistic approach. It means looking at the whole picture rather than just part of it. This isn't always possible because we tend not to see things as a whole.
We often think of grey as black and white. There are many shades and shades of grey.
You should always see the project from many angles when working on it. You should look at it from all sides.
You should try to see it all as one. How does each of its components interact with one another?
You should also ask yourself why the problem is occurring. Make sure to take into account the impact of every change you make.
What are the benefits to complementary and alternative medicine?
Complementary or alternative medicine (CAM), is a general term that covers medical practices that people use when they feel they don't get enough from allopathic medicines. These include herbal medicines, mind and body therapies like acupuncture, massage, homeopathy or traditional Chinese medicine. Because they are not part of the standard medical treatment system, CAM practitioners will often recommend alternative therapies. Many CAM therapies include elements of conventional medicine. Some forms of acupuncture use needles while others use acupressure and moxibustion with heat.
Some CAM therapies can help with anxiety, stress management, pain relief, relaxation, sleep disorders, insomnia, and stress management. They may improve your general well-being as well as reduce fatigue. Some CAM therapies address specific conditions like fibromyalgia or chronic fatigue syndrome, irritable bowel disease, rheumatoid arthritis, cancer, and diabetes. Other CAM therapies may simply be enjoyable experiences.
Although there is no one definition of CAM, most definitions include at minimum one of these:
- A holistic perspective which considers both body and mind, as well the environment.
- The belief that the mind, body and soul interact and influence one another
- The belief that illness can be caused by an imbalance in the environment or between the individual and his/her environment
- It is important to treat the whole person, not just the symptoms.
- Combination of Eastern philosophy and Western science
- The best treatment methods integrate mind, spirit, and body
- Use of natural products rather than synthetic chemicals
- The healing touch
- Mindfulness
- Meditation
- Acupuncture
- Yoga
- Herbal remedies
- Homeopathy
- Chiropractic care
- Massage therapy
- Hypnotherapy
- Spiritual healing
- Biofeedback
- Nutritional counseling
- Energy healing
In addition to its potential benefits, there are risks associated with certain CAM therapies. If used incorrectly, some therapies can cause severe harm or even death. Some have side effects, which should be balanced against their perceived benefits. Discuss these concerns with your doctor before you decide to use any CAM.
What is Alternative Medicine?
This approach to healing focuses on prevention and not treatment. It encourages people be educated consumers, actively participating in their own health and well being.
Alternative medicine refers to any system of diagnosis and treatment that does not employ allopathic (conventional) medical practices.
Is holistic health care the same as alternative medicine?
Holistic Health Care distinguishes itself from Alternative Medicine because Holistic Health Care focuses on the whole person instead of just treating symptoms.
Holistic Health Care addresses all aspects of an individual’s life: mental, physical, psychological, spiritual, occupational, cultural and family.
Alternative Medicine does nothing to address these issues. It doesn't address these issues.
Can a holistic practitioner write prescriptions?
Holistic medicine relies on the idea that all diseases are caused in part by a combination – diet, lifestyle and environment. Stress, anxiety, genetics and any other health-related factors.
This is a comprehensive approach to treating patients.
To fully grasp the effect of each factor on a patient, a physician must have a good understanding of both modern science as well traditional methods such a homeopathy or herbs.
Many doctors have become certified in complementary and alternative medicine (C&A). This allows them to offer a full range of services to their patients.
What is the difference between holistic and alternative medicine?
Holistic medicine treats the whole person: body, mind, spirit, and soul. It looks at all aspects of an individual's health, including physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, and environmental factors often overlooked by conventional medicine. Alternative medicine addresses specific conditions, such as asthma, allergies, arthritis, and other ailments.
Complementary and Alternative Healthcare – Are they Evidence-based?
While the evidence base in complementary and alternative medicine remains incomplete, there are many good reasons to choose them. They may have tried conventional treatments but found them ineffective, or they may want to try an alternative therapy because they believe it offers benefits over conventional care. Alternative and complementary medicine may be an option. This is part of a holistic approach. Always check with your doctor to ensure that any complementary and/or alternative medicines you take are supported scientifically. If you're unsure whether a particular treatment is effective, ask your doctor or pharmacist. It can save you both time and money.
Statistics
- According to the World Health Organization, 80% of people use herbal medicine worldwide. (webmd.com)
- The use of alternative medicine in the US has increased, with a 50 percent increase in expenditures and a 25 percent increase in the use of alternative therapies between 1990 and 1997 in America. (en.wikipedia.org)
- In 83% of the cases, the readers agreed. (en.wikipedia.org)
- The concept of regression toward the mean implies that an extreme result is more likely to be followed by a less extreme result. (en.wikipedia.org)
- According to a 2005 book by a US [116]Institute of Medicine panel, the number of RCTs focused on CAM has risen dramatically. (en.wikipedia.org)
External Links
webmd.com
cam.cancer.gov
nccih.nih.gov
ncbi.nlm.nih.gov
- BIOFEEDBACK TRAINING, TENSION-TYPEHEADACHE – PubMed
- PubMed: A Randomized Controlled Trial to Determine the Effects of Foot Reflexology on Depression and Hospital Anxiety in Older Females: A Randomized Controlled Study – PubMed
How To
What can a holistic doctor do differently than a traditional doctor?
A holistic doctor provides a wider range of services than a traditional doctor, including a nutritionist, massage therapist, acupuncturist, homeopath, naturopath, etc.
Holistic doctors work with patients holistically. They look at each person's lifestyle and environment, and treat the root causes of any health problems, rather than treating the symptoms. This helps them to identify the root cause of any health issues and help with long-term wellness. Holistic doctors employ natural remedies, such as essential oils and herbs, to treat illness. They also provide nutritional supplements and advice for healthy living.
Additionally, holistic doctors offer treatments such as reflexology, massage, shiatsu and acupuncture.
